8 Ways of Coping Through the Christmas Period When You’re Struggling With Mental Health and Family Relationships.

By Towards Tranquility

For many, the Christmas season brings warmth, connection, and celebration. But for others—especially those navigating mental health struggles or painful family dynamics, perhaps family based separation—this time of year can feel overwhelming, isolating, and activate intense emotions.  If you find yourself bracing yourself for the holidays instead of looking forward to them, please know: you’re not alone, and your experience is valid.

At Towards Tranquility, we believe in gifting yourself kindness and creating gentle, realistic strategies and expectations that protect your energy and wellbeing.  Below are some supportive, compassionate approaches to help you move through the festive period with a little more steadiness and self-understanding.

1.  Give yourself Permission to Acknowledge Your Reality

You don’t have to pretend Christmas is magical if it doesn’t feel that way. It feels rubbish but it’s okay to feel mixed emotions—or none of the ones you feel you “should.”  Our emotions ebb and flow and don’t stay the same and individual to ourselves.Giving yourself permission to acknowledge and feel your experience can take some pressure off from trying to fit in with others expectations and allow room for you to provide yourself with genuine emotional care.

Try saying to yourself or make creative reminders saying:“My feelings are valid. I’m allowed to have a different experience from others.”

This simple phrase can act as a powerful reminder to when expectations around you feel heavy.

2.  Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Needs

Family relationships can be complicated, especially when unresolved dynamics or difficult histories resurface during the holidays. You are allowed to:

• Limit the length of visits

• Decline invitations that feel draining

• Step out for air during gatherings

• Choose not to engage in conflict

• Leave early if you start to feel overwhelmed

Boundaries are not rejection—they are a form of self-preservation and care which you are entitled to put in place for your own wellbeing.   Because we can’t change how other people behave the boundaries we put in place around difficult relationship dynamics needs to be for us and around how we behave to support ourselves.

If communicating boundaries feels difficult, try preparing a gentle script that supports you to get your needs met and hold boundaries.

3.  Create Alternative Traditions That Nourish You

If traditional family celebrations cause stress or sadness, consider shaping new rituals that feel more aligned with your needs. You might try:

• A quiet morning walk

• Watching a favourite comforting film

• Volunteering or donating if connection through giving feels grounding

• Cooking a meal you genuinely enjoy, if you are on your own you could freeze or save the extra for another day.

• Spending time with your chosen family—friends, pets, your own company

  
  

Traditions don’t need to be inherited; they can be intentionally created to support your wellbeing.  I wonder what transitions you could create for yourself that bring positive connection or a sense of wellbeing.

4.  Plan for Emotional Triggers Ahead of Time

It’s normal for heightened emotions, memories, or social pressures to feel sharper at this time of year. Preparing a “coping plan” can help you feel more steady. Your plan might include:

• Identify any patterns or specific triggers so you can be more mindful of them as they come up

• A grounding exercise you can use if emotions rise, to help you notice the emotions, surf the wave of the emotion and manage it as it releases the energy.

• Consider pairing triggers with a kind coping response / action as the trigger arises.   Such as:

  • If someone makes a critical comment → silently repeat a grounding phrase, excuse yourself to get a drink of water, or step outside for air.

  • If group conversations overwhelm you → plan an exit phrase such as “I’m just going to take a moment,” or position yourself near a doorway for easier breaks.

  • If grief surfaces → carry something comforting (jewellery, a scent, a photo), or plan a quiet moment later to acknowledge the emotion.

• Supportive people,  person, support organisations you can message or talk to.

• A reminder that stepping away is okay

• Plan your emotional and physical exits e.g. Redirecting a difficult conversation, taking a quick break by exiting to go to toilet or leaving if your overwhelmed.

• A few phrases to help you redirect conversations

• What supportive and comforting things can I provide myself afterwards

A coping plan isn’t about expecting the worst—it’s about giving yourself tools to feel safe and supported in a season that can be so unpredictable. Think of it as a gift you give your future self.

5.   Reduce the Pressure to Perform or Be “Festive”

You don’t need to match the energy of others or feel joyful on demand. It’s perfectly okay to participate gently or minimally. Authenticity matters more than performance.  If you’re feeling low or withdrawn, self-compassion might sound like:“I don’t have to force anything. My presence as I am is enough.”

6. Connect with others in the Ways That Feel Accessible

Connection doesn’t have to be loud or crowded.  Sometimes the easiest forms to access are small, quiet, and simple:

• A brief call with someone who’s kind

• Exchanging supportive messages

• Connecting with an online mental health community

• Spending meaningful time with pets

• Writing in a journal to stay grounded in your own voice

Connection is measured by how it makes you feel.

7. Prioritise Rest—Emotional and Physical

The holiday period often disrupts routines, which can leave you feeling even more unsettled if you’re already struggling. Prioritising rest can be a stabilising anchor:

• Try to stick to as much of your usual routine as possible

• Build in pockets of reflection about what you need and recharging energy.

• Keep sleep hygiene steady

• Let yourself decompress after social interactions

Rest is not avoiding others or challenges —it’s time dedicated to replenishing your capacity.

8. Seek Support When You Need It

If this time of year intensifies your mental health challenges, reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of strength and self-understanding. Support can come from:

• A therapist

• A support group

• Mental health helplines

• Trusted friends

• Your wider community

You deserve support that helps you feel grounded and seen.

A Gentle Reminder

Christmas does not have to be perfect, and neither do you. Your worth is not defined by how well you get through a difficult season or how others expect you to show up.

You, your experience and wellbeing matters.  You deserve a holiday period that meets your emotional needs and reality—not one that dismisses it.

Whether your Christmas is quiet, unconventional, or gently held together moment by moment, Towards Tranquility hope you find small pockets of peace and compassion for yourself.

If you’d like help creating a personal coping plan or exploring strategies tailored to your specific situation, have a look at the Emotional Activation Plan Template

Feel free to book in for a single session if you would like support filling the template in with a Towards Tranquility Therapist.

www.towardstranquility.com

Email: info@towardstranquility.com